


The Devil Having Fun

by CloudAtlas



Series: Valentine's Prompts 2015 [7]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Accidental summoning, Community: be_compromised, Demons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 06:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3346583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudAtlas/pseuds/CloudAtlas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: <i>A romantic arrangement of candles and rose petals Clint created for his Valentine's date turns out to summon a red-haired demon from the Fourth Level of Hell - and she's pretty pissed off.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Devil Having Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetwatersong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetwatersong/gifts).



> Natasha here is based of Lucifer from The Wicked + The Divine.

Through the smoke Clint stares at the mess of wax, petals and food that was his Valentine’s dinner for Jess. He’s sucking on his burnt fingers and contemplating if suitably romantic takeout exists when a voice suddenly comes from behind him.

“This better be good.”

Clint spins so fast he almost falls over. “What the – ?”

A woman is sitting on the draining board; bright white suit hugging pretty awesome curves, bright red hair in some sort of artful up-do, bare feet and bright red lips. And an epic scowl. Mustn’t forget the scowl.

“How did you – ?” Clint stutters, stumbling backwards and knocking over a chair. “How did – ?”

“Not the most articulate guy, are you?” the woman says.

Clint just stares at her wide eyed.

“Well, come on. I don’t have all day.” The woman waves her hand in an imperious manner, before frowning and looking around. “What a dump,” she says under her breath, before clicking her fingers; a glass of something clear appears in her hand immediately.

“How… how did you do that?” Clint says quietly, waving his hand and wincing when he sends the bowl with his and Kate’s keys in crashing to the ground.

The woman frowns at him.

“What do you mean, ‘how did I do that’? I’m a demon. You summoned me.”

Clint guppies like a moron.

“You _did_  summon me, right?” the woman says, her voice suddenly dangerous.

“Um…”

“Oh for _fuck’s sake_.”

“Clint?” Clint turns at the sound of Kate’s voice. “What the hell are you doing? What’s all the banging? And why’s it smoky in…?”

Kate’s voice trails off when she sees the woman.

“I thought the dinner was for Jess?” Kate says.

“It was,” Clint mumbles. “I, um… I set it on fire.”

“Then who is – ?”

“You mean this was an _accident_?” The woman snarls.

“Um…”

“I was in the middle of something!” she rages, jumping elegantly off the draining board. “What the fuck are you doing _accidentally_  summoning demons?”

“You’re a demon?” Kate says incredulously.

“Well what the hell did you _think_  I was?” the woman snaps, turning to her.

Kate raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Clint has terrible taste in women; I figured you were one of them.”

Clint is just opening his mouth to defend himself – he’s taste isn’t terrible and Jess is really nice fuck you Katie-Kate – when he notices the woman looks sort of like she wants to rip Kate limb from limb.

“Woah woah woah,” Clint says alarmed, stepping between the two. “No maiming best friends, OK?”

The woman rolls her eyes and stalks back to her glass of magic weirdness.

“Can’t believe I’m saddled with a fucking idiot,” she says to herself before throwing back the rest of the liquid, the glass disappearing in a flash.

“Hey!” Clint snaps, finally fed up of being talked about as if he’s a moron. “What do you mean ‘saddled’? _I_  don’t want you here, you can just leave.”

The woman pinches the bridge of her nose like he’s being particularly trying. “No,” she says slowly, “I can’t. _I_  have to stay until I’ve helped _you_  accomplish whatever hair brained, moronic scheme you summoned me for. And then I take you to Hell.”

“Wait, what?” Clint says. “I don’t want to go to Hell!”

“Oh don’t be a baby. It’s not that bad. We have Jimi Hendrix and Freddie Mercury. And the BBQs are to die for.”

Clint and Kate just stand in stunned silence, and the woman stares at them for a long moment.

“Oh, this is going to be awful, I can just tell.”

“I am going to America’s,” Kate suddenly says.

Clint whirls on her.

“No way.”

“What do you mean ‘no way’?”

“She’s a fucking demon! You can’t leave me here with her! Jess is turning up soon! What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know!” Kate exclaims. “I didn’t summon her!”

“Neither did I!”

“You did, actually,” the woman interrupts smoothly.

“Well, I didn’t mean to!”

The woman rolls her eyes. “Well, that much is obvious.”

“Can’t you just leave?” Clint says, almost whining. “It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m supposed to be having dinner with my girlfriend.”

The woman gives the room another disdainful once over. “I’m sure she’ll be suitably impressed.”

Clint bends down to pick up the bowl of keys. “Well, if you left I could try and _fix things_.”

The woman raises an eyebrow at him. She hops back onto the draining board and crosses her legs, and then she clicks her fingers.

The smoke disappears. The mess on the table disappears. Even the chair rights itself.

“Oh my God,” Kate breathes.

“None of that, thank you,” the woman says primly. “Anyway, the smoke was hurting my eyes.”

“You’re from Hell,” Clint says blankly.

“And we have good ventilation,” the woman replies, just as there’s a knock at the door.

The woman brings her feet up onto the draining board, folding her legs and propping her chin on her knees.

“Well, watching you struggle will at least be entertaining,” she says. “Maybe that’ll make this worthwhile. But do think up some sort of plan. I was having fun beating Napoleon at poker and would like to get back to it. He’s a terrible loser. It’s most enjoyable to watch.”


End file.
